THIS SITE HAS BEEN TRANSFERED

I have transfered all the posting here onto my new website at http://www.johnlawrence.wordpress.com
All new updates will be on the new site which is more user friendly and allows me to have various pages. Check it out and see.
Thanks for following my journey.
God bless,
John Lawrence.

MEETING NEXT WEEK WITH SURGEON & DENTIST

Since I have a follow up appointment with DR.Wood my dentist at Princess Margaret Hospital, I thought I would also see Dr Gullan my surgeon again. I have had difficulties eating solid food and often my throat feels as if it is closing up which is not a nice feeling. I was told that this is all part of the healing process after the surgery but one can never be too careful. This is so different from the old John Lawrence who always put off doctors and dentist. Not anymore as I have learned that early detection can save your life. More details next week.

GOOD NEWS AFTER TEST COMES BACK

A meeting with Dr.Hope gave me very good news. The surgeon, Dr. Gullane had removed 15 lymph nodes from my neck and sent them to be tested for cancer. The results from the pathology tests came back negative with no traces of any cancer in them. I was elated with the results and thanked Dr Hope for the great news. At my meeting the following week with Dr.Gullane I thanked him also. He said that my neck and throat will take about another 1 to 2 months to heal and it will be about 1 to 2 years to get everything back to normal. I have another appointment with Dr.Hope in December to follow up on everything. More posts after that, in the mean time I am still praising the Lord for answer to prayer. "I will live and not die and will proclaim the glorious works of the Lord" The word from the Lord given to me back in April of this year.

UNEXPECTED SIDE EFFECT OF RADIATION

For over a week I suffered from what I thought was an abscess in my mouth which caused my tongue to be very painful especially when eating or drinking. Since I had a dental appointment arranged at Princess Margaret Hospital Dental Clinic, I decided to have Dr Wood take a look at the problem. To my unbelief he told me that it was a small piece of bone sticking out of my gum and rubbing on my tongue. He pulled the piece out and the relief was immediate. Unfortunately the same problem happened again withing a few days and as I was going back to PMH to see Dr.Hope, I called and made another dental appointment for the same morning. This time he poked and pulled and finally removed another three pieces of bone. (I'm not sure which was the worst: - the bone on the tongue or the dentist working on the problem) I found out that this problem sometimes happens after radiation treatments and is caused by the blood vessels being reduced and damaged by the radiation. He gave me two bottles of Perioplus Oral Rinse (Antimicrobial) which I am to use twice a day. We'll see how things go until my next visit with the dentist next week.

QUICK UPDATE

Since my last trip to the hospital in Toronto, I unfortunately caught a bad cold and it has hung on for quite a while. I expect this has something to do my my immune system still not being fully restored. It has caused me problems with coughing and swallowing and my mouth has been very sore. I also had another attack of the dreaded thrush. Thank goodness I still had some prescription drops left so that seems to have helped and it has almost gone now. I have a dental appointment at Princess Margaret Hospital this week so I will discuss some of these issues with Dr. Wood. It is wonderful having all my medical/dental treatments at the same hospital as they are all specialists in the field of cancer treatment. Well today I'm off for a thanksgiving meal with my family so I am looking forward to seeing Sue, Michael and Candice and catching up on the issues in their lives. We have so much to thank God for so lets all have a truly blessed Thanksgiving weekend.

GOOD NEWS FROM THE SURGEON

I was very early arriving at Princess Margaret Hospital Head and Neck Clinic. My 8.45 am dental appointment with Dr. Wood only took 1o minutes so my wait at the clinic ended up being about two hours until my appointment at 10.45 am with Dr. Gullan. I didn't mind though as there was a computer available and lots of reading material plus I use these down times to write my journals. Time passed quickly and soon I went into an examination room to see the doctor. He was very pleased with the way the incision was healing and carefully took the stitches out. He informed me that while they didn't have the pathology results back yet, they did have a very good look around in my neck and throat during the surgery and couldn't see any evidence of any cancer left. I was elated with the news and after I expressed my sincere thanks to the doctor and his team I left the hospital on top of the world. After a quick lunch at PMH lodge I was on my way home with my Cancer Society driver phoning and texting my family and friends with the good news. I will write later about how my neck and throat heals and how the nerves gradually start to reattach and regenerate. I cannot help but Praise my Lord and Savior for His mercy and grace. Thank you Jesus.

OFF TO TORONTO AGAIN SEP 21/22

Part 1: Trip to Toronto - The Cancer Society driver arrived at my door at 7.20 am with one other passenger in the van. We stopped to pick up three other people and then headed for downtown Toronto about 2 hours away. First stop was Sunnybrook Hospital and then on to Princess Margaret Hospital Lodge on Jarvis Street. One set of traffic lights before the lodge we noticed while waiting for the lights to change that there was blue smoke pouring from the right front side of the vehicle. We managed to drive in to the lodge parking lot and inspected the problem which appeared to be a seized brake. The driver called the CAA and made arrangements to have his van towed all the way back to Wasaga Beach for repairs. I felt sorry sorry for our driver as he is a volunteer and only gets paid mileage for these trips , therefore the expense of the repairs will have to come out of his pocket.
I had prayed the night before for a safe trip to Toronto and I couldn't help but wonder where on the highway we might have been stuck had the Lord not answered my prayer. I didn't think to pray for safety for the vehicle which I will do next time.
After checking into the lodge and paying for my nights accommodation, I stopped in to say hi to the wonderful nurses who work there. (Picture of 2 of them below.)


Click on photo for larger image











Part 2: - G-Tube Removal -After having the drainage tube pulled from my neck after my recent neck surgery, I was somewhat apprehensive about this procedure. I checked into the Toronto General Hospital Imaging department and after the usual questions and answers I sat in the waiting room until my name was called. After only waiting about 5 minutes I was instructed to go to waiting area 'B' where I was immediately taken into an operating room. (Picture below)
Less than 10 minutes later I was buttoning up my shirt and ready to leave This was another thing I had prayed about the previous night and again the Lord came through as I didn't feel a thing. PTL
It was a great feeling having the tube gone, although now I am forced to eat only regular food which is still difficult until my throat heals after surgery. I really cant afford to lose any more weight as clothing has become a problem - Weight 200lbs down to 150lbs and waist size 42 down to 36.
I feel wonderful but I wouldn't recommend this form of dieting to anybody though.










Tomorrow I'm off to Princess Margaret Hospital to see the surgeon for a review after my surgery. I am believing the Lord for GOOD NEWS.

MORE TRIPS TO TORONTO

I moved to the Georgian Bay area to get away from Toronto never dreaming that I would one day spend so much time travelling back and forth to in the city again. This coming week I am scheduled on Monday to go to Toronto General Hospital to have my G tube (feeding tube) removed. Then on Tuesday I am to meet my surgeon Dr. Gullan at Princess Margaret Hospital for a follow up to my surgery. Unfortunately I couldn't get the appointments changed to the same day so I decided to stay over Monday night at PMH lodge. This worked out well as lately I have been having tooth ache so I was able to get an appointment with my dentist Dr. Wood at Princess Margaret Hospital also on Tuesday. This makes it a little easier on the Cancer Society drivers who fit their driving schedule around my appointments. These drivers are amazing and always so friendly and helpful, and yes they are volunteers who only get paid gas mileage. My trip usually takes about just over two hours each way and the driver waits around if I am coming back on the same day. This makes for a long day for these volunteers but I have never heard one complain, except about the Toronto's traffic.

RECOVERY AND THEN HOME

Toronto General Hospital - 6th Floor Ward
Aftermath of my neck surgery
(Click on photos for larger image)


View of the neck surgery - Cut runs from just above the ear to the centre of my throat.

The next few days were spent recovering from the surgery. I found myself sleeping a fair amount but I guess that is part of the healing process. I walked a fair amount and also spent time on the computer. The nurses were constantly checking in and taking my blood pressure, heart beat and temperature and during the night they checked on us every hour. The key to getting home was the amount of fluid my neck drain put out. As soon as it puts out below 10cc's over 24 hours, the drain will be removed and the discharge papers issued by the doctor. My room mate lives in Brampton so had numerous visitors although he confessed that it was quiet tiring entertaining people all the time. In my case as I live 2 hours north of Toronto, I had no visitors so was glad that I took my DVD player with me. I spent the evenings watching some good movies which passed the time. Saturday I was unhooked from my IV drip which made it a lot easier to move around and on Sunday morning I had my neck drain removed and got my discharge papers. My son drove down to pick me up and by 1.30pm I was back in Wasaga Beach in my own home. I would like to express my sincere appreciation to all the Doctors, Nurses and hospital staff who made my stay as comfortable as possible. One lovely young lady saw my Bible on my bed and brought me a whole list of healing scriptures. My main nurse was Celeste who was just an amazing lady. Always happy and smiling and nothing I asked her to do was too much trouble. Thanks and God bless you Celeste for everything.

SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2009 - SURGERY DAY

In true Lawrence tradition I arrived at the Toronto General Hospital admitting desk at 5.45 am 45 minutes early to find the only people around were security and the cleaning staff. I found a seat in the waiting room and did just that -waited proudly claiming to be number 1 in line.
I had stayed at P.M.L the night before and after a nice roast beef dinner, I went to bed early to prepare for an early start. It was still dark when the taxi picked me up and the traffic was almost non-existent which all helped to make me so early arriving. It was not long though before the hustle and bustle started, patients arriving with family members, nurses, orderlies and then doctors, doctors and more doctors.
We were all lined up on stretcher beds with a curtain separating us and all curious to know who would be the next chosen one to be wheeled off to the operating room. I was as usual, at the end of the list and after an I.V. needle was put into my hand, I too was wheeled away to the operating room and the land of nod for the next three hours. On the way my Surgeon gave me the thumbs up and said, "60% clear to 40% cancer, don't worry it's going to be OK". I awoke to a nurse calling my name and realized that it was over and I was still alive and on earth. It was rather a wonderful feeling to see the smiling faces and hear happy voices again. I was soon off to the sixth floor which was my home for the next three and a half days. I met my room mate Dan Rose who had similar but more extensive surgery than mine. It's a small world as it turns out that Dan's Mom runs the Post Office in the Shopper's Drug Mark in Wasaga Beach, the very store that I use to get all my medical supplies and prescriptions filled. My neck and throat were quite sore which made it hard to sleep and swallow but with what was done, it was quite understandable. My neck looks a little different due to the amount of tissue that was removed but I am told it will fill out somewhat as it heals. (More to come including photo's taken by nurse. )

SURGERY HAPPENING THIS THURSDAY (9/10/09)

Today after cutting clients lawns, I started to put a few things together for my stay in Toronto. I am staying overnight tomorrow at Princess Margaret Lodge as I have to be at Toronto General Hospital at 6am Thurday for surgery scheduled at 8am. I am told that the operation will last for about 2 hours. God willing I will be home by the weekend.
Please pray for my quick recovery.

COINCIDENCE OR GOD-INCIDENCE

After hearing that I had to have surgery on my throat I could not help but be concerned. But I kept telling myself, the Lord gave me Psalm 118 verse 17 to stand on. "I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done." As well He told me through a word of knowledge from Evangelist Gordon Williams that although I was concerned about the time it was taking to heal my throat, He (the Lord) was doing it in His time and was doing it thoroughly. However the 'what it this or what if that' kept floating around in my mind.
I had just finished my hearing test in Toronto this past Tuesday and was ready to go home when Bob, my Canadian Cancer Society driver announced that we had to back to Toronto General Hospital to pick up a lady who needed a ride back to our area. After she got settled in the van we started chatting. To my absolute amazement she told me that she had just had the exact same surgery that I will be having next week. She was on her way home about 30 hours after her surgery, no bandages, just a thin red line where the incision was made and a rather sore swollen neck.
Isn't God wonderful - He knew my concerns and cared enough about me to arrange for that lady to be discharged at the exact time we were ready to leave Toronto. I never cease to be amazed at God's awesome kindness. Praise the Lord. JDL

RADIATION AND HEARING DON'T MIX

Since my radiation treatments I noticed a loss of hearing mostly in my left ear. This seems to be more noticeable when listening to women's voices, although that could be a man thing. An appointment was arranged with the Hearing Clinic at the Toronto General Hospital to determine the actual extent of the damage. After the completion of rather interesting audio sound tests it showed that I have in fact lost some hearing in both ears. The next step will be to met with an audiologist to discuss the results and see what can be done. In some case hearing does return to almost normal after a period of time, therefore it was decided to forward the test results to Dr.Hope at Princess Margaret Hospital. He will no doubt talk with me after my throat surgery has taken place next week. JDL

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

My August check-up turned out to be another series of tests by four doctors and it was decided that the one lymph node left after the radiation should be removed surgically. Hence, on September 10th I will be going into Toronto General Hospital for a two hour procedure. I will stay in the hospital for about 24 to 48 hours after the surgery and then be able to go home. The problem is that there is no way to know whether there are any cancer cells in the nodes without removing them. Basically it's a win win situation as they have found over the past 10 to 12 years that where the nodes were left in, about 45% of patients died for the cancer starting up again. I am also going to TGH next Tuesday to the hearing clinic to see if my hearing loss resulting from the radiation is going to be permanent or temporary. Then back again on Thursday for my pre-admission work up for the surgery - ECG; x-ray; Blood tests etc. Unfortunately I couldn't get the appointments on the same day as it is over a two hour drive each way as the hospital in down town Toronto. But thanks to the Cancer Society, I will not have to drive myself . This is an amazing service provided free of charge to cancer patients. I anticipate the next update will be after my surgery. Please keep me in your prayers. Many thanks, John

AUGUST UPDATE

This past few weeks I have started going out with the friends who have kept my business operating these past 4 months. Although I wasn't yet able to take back the whole grass cutting route, I have managed to cut and trim some lawns. My biggest problem is dry mouth which drives me crazy. I always carry water with me but even that doesn't work well when it gets warm so I have started freezing the bottles which seems to work quite well. I also bought mouth sprays that do work well although since I have been using one particular brand, my taste buds and become fuzzy. I am starting to eat solid food but again with my saliva glands still not working 100%, I have to drink to swallow food unless it has lots of liquid with it like gravy. I have an appointment in September at the hearing clinic as I have had some hearing loss in my left ear. This is one of the side effects of radiation I am told. We will see. This has been a long summer and I am hoping and praying that all will come into line with the way God designed us. I will be at Princess Margaret Hospital this week to meet with Dr. Hope and get the results of my latest CT scan. I will update this blog with what I believe will be good news.
I am now in contact with the Canadian Cancer Society to see if I can help to set up a Head and Neck Support Group. I believe that this kind of a group will definitely help others who are going through cancer in the head and neck areas. Again I will post details as they develop.

HOME FOR 5 WEEKS NOW

It doesn't seem possible that 5 weeks has past since my last round of treatments at Princess Margaret Hospital. I am recovering extremely well and not longer take any pain medication. My throat is healing nicely and I have no pain any more. My last visit to the hospital was last week to see the dentist whose assistant did a saliva test. She was quite surprised that I already have 70% saliva back. I was telling her that my recovery was due to much prayer. It turned out that she was a christian and so we had a wonderful talk about the goodness of the Lord.

I still get tired quickly but have been told that this will continue for a long while. I am starting on some solid foods but right now my problem is still the mucus film in my throat which often cover my tongue and mouth. It is extremely hard to get rid off and makes eating rather a trial although I am pressing on and still trying different foods. Yesterday I made a wonderful ground beef stew which smelt so good, however after one taste I had to freeze he whole thing for another time. I think the tomatoes made it too acidic and that made my mouth burn for quite a while. As soon a I can eat solid foods for one week, the hospital will make an appointment for me to have my feeding tube removed.

I now have my voice back and cant wait to sing for the Lord again. It's been over 3 months since I last sang and the piece I recorded at the request my sister Ann was, 'It is Well with my Soul'. This has always been one of my favourite hymns because the words teach us that whatever we go through in life, God is always there. I am so glad that I can personally say, "It is well with my soul."

RECOVERY COMING ALONG NICELY

Each day gets better although the mucus problem still exists along with the dry mouth. I understand from Princess Margaret Hospital that these problems should clear up in about two or three weeks time. I have started eating some soft food like yogurt and eggs but it is hard with almost no saliva and requires sipping water to make it possible to swallow the food. I have cut back on my morphine and only take it when my mouth or throat gets sore. My taste buds seem to be returning so I am hoping to gradually increase my food intake. Once I can go for a week of eating and not using my feeding tube, the hospital will arrange an appointment to remove the tube. I still get tired fairly quickly although the frequency of that is really improving. Overall I am feeling very encouraged with my recovery and once the radiation has worked it's way out of my body, I know that will help considerably. I would like to thank everybody who has helped me out in so many ways during this past few months. It has truly been quite amazing and overwhelming at the generosity of family and friends who have helped both financially and with the gift of time. Thanks for running my business, cleaning my house, feeding the cat and just popping by to make sure I was OK.

MY FIRST WEEKS HOME

I had been told that the first few weeks of being home was hard, and true to form I found it quite difficult. The weekend I came home my brother Mike drove up and stayed with me and then on the Tuesday, my cousin Ted arrived from England to be my companion and helper for the next two weeks. I found that my energy level was really low and that even going to the local store made me tired. I also had problems sleeping as my throat was trying to heal itself by creating a thick coating of mucus which is hard to get rid of. I found that the only way I could sleep was sitting up and this at least gave me some relief. It was as if my throat and stomach were in a battle - as fast as one created the other expelled. I was sick quite a few times mostly during the nights. Each day got a little better and my health care nurse seemed quite please with my progress. She comes in twice a week to start with and then once a week for the duration of my healing process.
The second week I had to go back down to Princess Margaret Hospital for blood tests and a meeting with my chemo doctor. It turned out great as he was all smiles when he came in the room and shook my hand and congratulated me on my results. They don't need to see me any more as things are now normal. My next meeting is in August with the radiation doctor after I have a CT scan. I pray that the same will be true at that meeting and that I will only need to attend for regular check ups.
I am still only 'eating' via my G tube but as soon as my throat is a little better, I am going to try some regular soft food. Yes real food again.

FINAL WEEK AND ALSO THE HARDEST

(John and Michael Lawrence - June 19th, 2009)

This final week, week number 7, has been tough. I found it very painful to swallow or cough and even talking became difficult so I decided to stop taking phone calls and only speak where necessary. Text messages and emails worked well to keep in touch with most members of my family and friends. I stayed in my room most of the time and watched videos and slept a fair amount. As I had my feeding tube, I didn't have to worry about eating in the dining room and could just hook up a bagged meal and watch a video.

3rd & Final Chemo
I was supposed to have my final chemo on Monday but as my blood cell count was down, it was postponed until Thursday. Having chemo on Thursday evening and over night was cutting things a bit close, but I was determined to have may last radiation on Friday morning at 8am , get a taxi back to the lodge and catch my ride back to Wasaga Beach.

Friday was my 35th and final radiation treatment and at that point I graduated and got to go home. I even got to keep my scary mask as a souvenir of my journey and yes I was home in my cottage by about 3 pm on Friday afternoon. Oh what joy to be home and the great part was that my brother Michael had decided to drive up from him home in Picton to spend the weekend with me again. Even my cat sidrick seemed pleased that I was home although like most cats that was short lived and he soon returned to his bed to catch up on his sleep.

More to come of the first week of freedom later........

ONE MORE DOWN – ONLY ONE TO GO

Having my 'bagged lunch' at home on Sunday

I now know why they say that the last few weeks are the worst. Last week at the lodge I rarely went out of the room except for my treatment, to use the computer or to see the nurses. I was so glad that I bought a little DVD player which really helped pass the time with my ‘bagged’ meals. My throat was really too sore to talk so I had to keep talking to a minimum. Naturally I still had a fair number of phone calls but even those I kept very short. This weekend has been even worse and after a brief trip on Saturday morning to Walmart to get the cat some litter and food and a case of water for me, I haven’t left the house since. The problem is that I keep falling asleep which then creates a very dry mouth and throat. When I wake I start coughing and believe me that is very painful. I am so glad that I had the feeding tube put in as I don’t know what I’d be doing for food right now. I even take my medications through the tube which saves on the throat. All I can say at this point is ‘Praise the Lord’ I only have one week left.

Part 10 - WEEK 5 FINISHED

As the feeding bag works by gravity, I needed someting to hang it on. My good friend Wayne Sproule came to the rescue and made the aparatus shown here. Works time a charm. Thanks Wayne



FEEDING TUBE NOW IN PLACE
After last weekend’s sore throat and my inability to eat anything, I was quite happy to have my feeding tube put in. This involved a trip on a stretcher through the underground tunnels from Princess Margaret Hospital to Toronto General Hospital. First the doctor sprayed my throat to freeze it after which he inserted a small tube down into my stomach. Air was put through the tube to inflate the stomach so that after a small incision was made, another tube could be inserted through that opening into the stomach. As a local anesthetic was administered I was awake during the procedure which took about 20 minutes from start to finish. The trip through the tunnels to get there and back took way longer. The hardest thing was that I was not allowed to eat or drink anything for about 36 hours before and after. The following day I was allowed to try the tube and so I had my first ‘bagged lunch’.

RADIATION SIDE EFFECTS
The radiation treatments have caused my neck to become very sore as the skin has dried and started to flake in the creases under my chin. I am constantly applying creams in an attempt to keep the area moist. The other change is that my doctor has changed my pain medication from the Codeine to a liquid Morphine. I was finding that the codeine was very hard to swallow and really didn’t seem to do much to realize my pain. The morphine is much more effective but tends to cause me doze off from time to time. This weekend my brother Michael drove up to stay with me. We didn’t do much accept chat and watch videos but it was so nice to have someone here with me. Thanks Michael for coming, I really appreciated having you here.
Tomorrow it's back to the lodge to start my 6th week of treatments. Almost finished.

Part 9 - SOME EFFECTS OF RADIATION

I have now completed 20 radiation treatments. During this process, I have noticed that my shoulders neck and behind my ears are always red and itchy. It’s just like having sunburn and the treatment is basically the same. About twice a day I put a saline soaked cloth on the effected area and allow the cloth to draw out the heat. After that is done I cover the area with a moisturizing cream which is nice and cooling and leaves the area nice and moist. I use a product called LUBRIDERM but there are many others on the market also. Another cream I have is ALOE VERA GEL which feels great when applied but for some reason, it tends to dry out my skin. A positive side is that I not longer have to shave as the radiation has burned the hair follicles. The negative side is that the hair on the back of my head has started falling out. If it keeps going I will look like a US marine soon.
This weekend I talked way too much and ended up with a very sore mouth. As my mouth is a little swollen, it causes my tongue to rub on my teeth and get painfully sore. I shared at our monthly Christian Fellowship Breakfast Meeting on Saturday morning and also on the weekends I get many telephone calls from family and friends which I love and look forward to. Unfortunately I will have to limit my phone time to BRIEF for a while but I know you’ll understand. (You can do the talking OK)
Perhaps the Lord is saying, John be still (and quite) and know that I am God.
Thanks for all your prayers, cards and calls.

Part 8 – 2ND CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT

(Almost finished my 2nd treatment)

This treatment in my case, takes about 18 hours from start to finish and the side effects so far have not been too bad. This time I felt a little sick towards the end of the night but as soon as the nurse applied another small bag of anti-nausea medicine I started to feel OK. At around 9 am the Radiation Department telephoned and said they were waiting for me and so I grabbed the elevator and headed down from the 18th floor to the basement. I had already put my prescriptions into the pharmacy the day before so after my radiation, I headed there to find out the cost. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my application for the Ontario Government Trillium Health Care Plan had been approved, and that most of my drugs were now covered as I had already met my deductible portion of the plan.

As both treatments make you quite tired, I decided to call a taxi as the next bus wasn’t for over an hour and I really needed to lay down and relax. My bed felt so good when I hit it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Part 7b: CHILDREN WITH CANCER

One of the hardest and most upsetting times for me is to see the number of kids coming in for treatment. I couldn't help but think back to the days of taking my daughter Candice out in her stroller for a jaunt down to the park. Some of these children are in strollers but their trip is not to the park but into the radiation chamber for treatments. I have talked to some of the parents who are sitting waiting while their child is alone in the chamber and although they appear brave on the outside, it must be pure torture for them knowing that there is nothing they can do at that moment in time. One couple told me that their 7 year old son had already undergone two surgeries for a rare brain tumor, was now completing his sixth week out of seven of radiation and then had to undergo five weeks of chemotherapy. I often find myself talking to God about these kids when I'm having my treatments. The good thing about children is that are fairly resilient and it is cute to see them, many with no hair, skipping down the hallways and teasing their siblings. My prayer is that a cure for this disease will be found shortly.

Part 7a: THIRD WEEK COMPLETED - (May 19 - 22)

This was a short week as last Monday was a holiday. However, we still had to have the same number of treatments so Wednesday was catch up day; radiation in the morning and again in the afternoon. Also on Wednesdays I see Dr. Hope and have my weight checked and to my delight I had not lost any weight. I also learned that I only needed to take the liquid Codeine if I needed it. Great news, I haven't taken any all week. The greatest problem for me is eating and drinking as everything tastes absolutely awful. Obviously I have to eat, so I work on a constant trial and error basis and unfortunately the error side is winning. Simple food like mashed potatoes tastes a bit like wet cardboard. After it's eaten I clean my teeth, wash my mouth out with baking soda and have a drink of soda water then I'm OK for a while. The other side effect of the radiation is a dry mouth and so I constantly sip on liquids.

I leave for the Princess Margaret Hospital at 8.30 am tomorrow and have a lot to do tomorrow as after my radiation, I have to go to the blood lad to have blood taken, meet with Doctor Siu, then go to the 18th floor to have my second round chemotherapy treatment. This will again mean staying over night so I am looking forward to find out who my room mate will be this time.

This past week I had the pleasure of meeting and also saying goodbye to some great people. I guess I am becoming one of the old timers now as each week there are more new people arriving and I will be into my fourth week at the PMH Lodge. Time flys when you're having fun.

Part 6: 2ND WEEKEND HOME - May 15 - 19th

I arrived home for the 'Victoria Day' long leekend at around noon on Friday. To my surprise, a friend had been by and totally cleaned my cottage and left a lovely bunch of cut flowers on the dining room table. Thank you very much. I unpacked my bag and headed out to Walmart to buy some groceries and a few other things. I decided to pick up a blender which was the best move I made all weekend. As I was unable to swallow most food, the blender made it possible to make some great smoothies. I have been using the product Boost as a food supplement and found that one vanilla boost, some fruit and ice cream makes a nutritious meal. I also bought some baby formula which makes a great almost liquid porridge for breakfast. The smell of steak on the BBQ drives me wild but it will be a while until I can enjoy more than the smell. I thought it might be fun to invite some friends over for dinner and blend up steak and potatoes and serve it in a large beer mug. It was just a thought. Well I'm back to the lodge tomorrow so I'll update this site next weekend. May God bless each person who reads this weblog.

Part 5 - SECOND WEEK COMPLETED - (May 11 - 15th)

Dr. Andrew Hope - Princess Margaret Hospital


SECOND WEEK AT THE LODGE
The lodge is an amazing place and I will do one section with photos later on. The people who stay there and the staff who run it are without a doubt truly great people and this makes my stay so much easier. Also the Princess Margaret Hospital staff are so well organized and friendly and always willing to chat or offer advice to help make this journey easier. Dr. Andrew Hope is a Radiation Oncologist and an Assistant Professor and quite an amazing guy. I sense that like his name, he gives people Hope for the future. Thanks Doctor.

RECOGNIZING LIMITATIONS
Both treatments have the tendency to make you tired and I have found that I can doze off while working on my computer or waiting for an appointment.

SALIVA CHANGE
Mouth and throat radiation gradually changes the Saliva glands and they stop producing the normal flow of saliva. As a result the mouth becomes dry and always seems as if it is coated with mucus like paste. Rinsing the mouth with a baking soda and water mix and drinking lots of water seems to help. Night is the worst as I find I am constantly getting up to rinse my mouth.

TASTE CHANGE
The other gradual effect of radiation is taste. By the end of my second week of treatments I found that most food has a metallic taste which is quite unpleasant and really spoils the whole process of eating.

MAJOR PAIN (Sore throat and mouth BIG TIME)
The final thing so far is an ever increasing sore throat which makes it very hard to swallow. The doctor has prescribed liquid CODEINE every 4 hours and a mouthwash called MUCOSITIS which numbs the mouth and throat enough to allow you to eat, if you can swallow some of it without gagging. The other problem I have encountered this weekend is small canker sores on the side of the mouth and tongue. I tried ORAJEL on one and after I climbed down off the ceiling it did seem to help for a while.

SIDE EFFECTS
Most drugs have some side effects and for CODEINE the side effect is constipation. To counteract this, the doctors recommend a daily dose of SENNA LAXATIVE and DOCSATE SODIUM a stool softener. Up until this journey, I thought a stool softener was a small pillow.

Part 4 - FIRST WEEKEND HOME (May 8-11)

Coming home was great and the first night both my children came over with their respective partners. The next morning I was up early and had the laundry done by 8.3 but I soon found that I was not quite as well as I thought. A visit to Goodies Café to chat with my friends Brian and Gayle who are cat sitting for me, ended quickly after I realized that I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stayed for a juice and went straight home. I had planned some shopping but at that point, I didn’t think it wise to push my luck, so I decided to lay down for a while. To be honest, this first weekend home was like that on and off the whole time. The was my first reaction to the chemotherapy given to me 3 days before and although it was not pleasant, it was livable and I managed to get through the weekend without being sick. The worst time was at night when my mouth would seem to dry out which is one of the side effect of the radiation. As a result I was up and down to rinse my mouth with a baking soda rinse most of the night. Drinking lots of water also helps but then I was not only rinsing my mouth every hours but also using the toilet. Needless to say by Monday morning I was looking forward to being back at PMH lodge for a rest. Next weekend is the May long weekend so I have three days at home and now that the effects of the chemo has worn off I am hoping that it will be easier to handle.

Part 3: THE START OF JOURNEY - WEEK ONE

After a very a pleasant drive to Toronto with two other patients and our Canadian Cancer Society driver Alexis, we started to find that the traffic was slowing down around the 401 area. After a few detours across the 400 highway southbound lanes, we headed down Black Creek Drive and made our way zig zag style down to Princess Margaret Hospital.
FIRST WEEK OF 35 RADIATION TREATMENTS
I was early enough to get a coffee before heading down to level 2B unit 5 for my first radiation treatment. My mask was waiting for me and after a few adjustments, my head was locked down. The technicians promised that mouth and eye holes would be cut out for Tuesdays treatment. (Pictures of my mask are posted below)
The whole process only took about 20 minutes during which time the machine moved around and made strange sounds. Sounds that I will become totally familiar with by the end of my 7 weeks of treatment. Afterward I waited in the lobby and at 12 noon got on the Princess Margaret Hospital Lodge bus in time to have a nice lunch before my orientation session with the nurse. The lodge is quite amazing with lounges on every floor, large TV’s with comfy couches and chairs, excise and pool room, plus resource room with two high speed computers fro us to use and beautiful grand piano. After watching 2 hours of Dancing with the Stars and making a bunch of new friends it was time for my first night sleepover.
FIRST OF 3 TREATMENTS OF CHEMOTHERAPY
Today was my second radiation and my first round of chemotherapy with Cisplatin. For this procedure I stayed over night on the 18th floor of Princess Margaret Hospital.
After being hooked up to my iv monitor machine, a fluid drip was started which meant running to the bathroom almost every 10 minutes. Chemo started in the afternoon along a bunch of liquid drugs thought the iv to minimize the nausea and vomiting. I was fortunate and had no adverse reaction and by 7 am the following morning I was making tea for my room mate and myself. At last I was finally unhooked from my travelling iv monitor and so after breakfast I said goodbye to my roomy and now friend Joseph, and proceeded down to the basement for my 3rd radiation treatment.


John Lawrence and Joseph Whitfield









The radiation staff kindly took the following photos of the mask that I wear during the radiation process. I have 9 beams daily and the mask is to hold my head in a fixed position. In the actual process I would be laying down and then lined up with by laser beams so that the radiation beams are completely on target. Each patient has a mask formed to the contours of their face and at the end of the process, gets to keep it. (Only 6 weeks left)


I'm not sure which picture is the scariest
















(Click on the photo for a larger image and you will see some of the laser beams used for alignment)

Part 3: FEAR NOT

I have always disliked enclosed spaces and even now get a little panicky if my face is completely covered, so the thought of having to wear a mesh mask each time radiation treatment is done, sort of freaked me out to say the least. It seemed that each test I went through lead me to the inevitable – making my mask. That day arrived and as I lay down I said “Lord you have to help me get through this” or words to that affect. A warm mesh was stretched over my face and locked into position to allow it to form to the contours of my face. I could see and breath comfortably but the feeling of being trapped caused me to panic a little. I can’t say I remember talking to God about this situation, but I’m sure I did. Looking back, I now realize that a good size nose is a good thing. The young female technicians were amazing and talked me through the whole process which didn’t take nearly as long as it seemed to me. Colored lazar beams shined everywhere and the girls talked and put sticky patches on my mask to line things up. The mask was finally removed after a small mark was tattooed in the centre of my chest to further help with the alignment. I’ve been told that mouth and eye holes will be made and that after my treatments are completed, I can keep my mask. The next joy was having an MRI which is like being pushed into a long cigar tube. Ear plugs are provided to cut down on the noise which is like something out of star wars. As I was preparing for this experience, I remembered that my sister-in-law Sylvia had phoned a day or so earlier and had said FEAR NOT is written 365 times in the Bible - that's one FEAR NOT for each day of the year. After my mask experience, I knew the MRI would be a breeze, so I decided that I would FEAR NOT and use the time to pray. I spent the 15 minutes praying and interceding for everybody I could think of and towards the end of my ‘tube time’, I asked God to restore my relationship with my wife and son. We had not spoken for a number of years and within two days of that prayer, my son Michael was sitting in my living room. My relationship with my son and his mother has now been restored much to the delight of my daughter Candice.

It is when we see God answer a prayer so swiftly, that we know He will answer the other prayers in His perfect time. Isn't God good. "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." (Psalm 118 verses 1 & 29)

Part 2: I WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE

After finding out about my condition, I attended a small Sunday service at the Church of the Blue Mountains just outside of Collingwood, Ontario. During a time of prayer for each other, Pastor Bruce pointed to me and proclaimed prophetically, “You will live and not die; you will live and not die.” Another friend who was at that very time praying for me added the phase “and will proclaim the works of the Lord.” Little did I realize at that time that Psalm 118 verse 17 says the same thing. “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.” I grabbed onto that verse and have been repeating it daily since then. Two days later I was in Barrie at a Pentecostal service lead by evangelist Bill Prankard. At the end of the service Bill proclaimed over the entire church the words, “You will live and not die.”
My friend Bruce grabbed me to make sure I had heard the same words again and we left rejoicing over what I know and believe is words of life for me. I have started to feel a lot better in the past few weeks and even today after having three teeth removed, I still feel great. Praise the Lord

Part 1: SICKNESS = FEAR

Most of us get sick occasionally with colds, the flu and various other minor ailments, but to really get sick, well then fear of the unknown kicks in. All of a sudden, prayer starts in ernest and reading the Bible becomes an ongoing search for scriptures that bring comfort and the hope of healing. A constant search of our past starts, "Did I confess this or repent of that?" " Have I any unforgiveness in my heart?" As a believer in Jesus Christ, I know that sickness is not of God but a result of man's fall in the Garden of Eden. Nevertheless, when it happens to you or me in this case, I had to start a journey of faith and trust in God like never before.
As a self employed gardener, I have never earned a high salary but have always managed to get by, but now at the busiest and most profitable time of the season, I find myself unable to work due to treatments starting in Toronto. How will I manage? How will I pay my rent or my bills with no income other than a small monthly government pension? To my amazement, family and friends rallied around. Cheques and cash arrived to help with my regular bills and offers to help with my cost of expenses for accommodation and drug costs while in Toronto came for my sister and her husband in the UK. Two close buddies offered to run my grass cutting business and deposit the revenue directly into my bank account to help keep the bills paid. My brother and his wife sent me a laptop so that I will be able to keep in touch by email and MSN while out of town. Other friends offered to come by during the week and look after my very fat cat and a very close friend who is a nurse has taken time off work to drive me to Toronto for various appointments and help me understand some of the medical terminology. This support has been overwhelming and I would like to express my sincere thanks to all. John